Monthly Archives: February 2015

HAVEMERCY: [A LOW, INHUMAN GROAN HERE]

To my main man, ARTICHOKE, It is never a great sign when, about fifty pages into a book— a book with four main characters, no less, each describing their own lives through first person perspective— a little alarm bell goes … Continue reading

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IN WHICH I ARGUE WITH THE NEW YORK TIMES OVER CHIPOTLE, BECAUSE THAT’S A GREAT USE OF MY TIME

Dear ARTICHOKE Recently, the Grey Lady had an article about Chipotle: First of all, since that title is a question, allow me to answer that question: a metric fuck-ton. The only reason to go to Chipotle is to cram food-matter … Continue reading

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A MINOR THOUGHT ON ISAAC BASHEVIS SINGER

Dear ONION, Was Isaac Bashevis Singer really so universally beloved a writer among the Yiddish community, as he implies over and over in every one of his semi-autobiographical short stories? There were heaps of Yiddish writers in the twentieth century, … Continue reading

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THE PERILS OF A CHILDHOOD WITH LEGO LEAGUE

Dear ARTICHOKE, One of the greatest mysteries of my childhood is how my mother managed to get me to do two years’ worth of Lego League. These days, I can barely motivate myself to get out of bed on Saturdays. … Continue reading

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